THE LOST SKELETON OF CADAVRA

We have a skit on 1950s sci-fi and horror 'B' movies here in The Lost Skeleton of Cadavra (2001), though one which fails to be half as entertaining as the source material itself.

Dr. Paul Armstrong and his wife, Betty - or, as the film hammers into the script like a tent-peg, a 'scientist' and a 'scientist's wife' - have arranged a stay in a woodland cabin near to a meteor landing site where they hope to acquire a substance called 'atmospherium'. Atmospherium will change life on Earth forever, y'see, so it's vital that the Armstrongs get to it quickly, even if it's a tad too near to a place called 'Cadavra Cave' which has the local legend of an evil skeleton attached. They're not the only ones who want to get their hands on this stuff though: a less-benevolent rival scientist (Dr. Roger Fleming) is also keen, and when he finds the legendary lost skeleton of Cadavra, the skeleton lets him know that atmospherium will resurrect him. Meanwhile, a rocket has landed nearby and the alien humanoids on-board need atmospherium to get their ship going again. Oh, and they've lost their pet murderous mutant. Soon, the whole cast are in the cabin, including a local ranger who warns them of the spate of 'horrible mutilations' which started around the time the mutant escaped. So, there's a skeleton, a mutant, some mutilations, and everyone needs a certain substance at any price. Cue a comedy of errors…

By 40 minutes of this, I did not care who got the atmospherium or what happened next. However, the film manages to drag out this patchy idea until 1 hour 25 minutes, and I gather there has even been a sequel. I realise that the above plot outline may sound quite diverting in its way, and not unlike the cream of 50s drive-in silliness, but unfortunately this just did not come across in the film. For starters, the dialogue is too forced, not half as witty a take on these old films as it perhaps likes to think. Just because a film happens to be a pastiche of something else - be it an individual film or a genre - it does not mean that filmmakers are let off the basics of filmmaking, and that includes using a decent script, pacing which doesn't drop away to nearly nothing for the purposes of making laboured 'comic observations' or, heaven forbid, relying on the idea that just because a film obviously purports to be funny, that in itself will do the job. Also, it seemed to be chortling at elements of 50s 'B' movie cinema I don't even recognise; sure, dialogue in these old films was clunky (often because these things were penned in days and scenes were shot in a single take), but the endless repetition of parts of sentences drove me to distraction (for example: "I fear I'm afraid we'll just have to stay here, I'm afraid"). This tedious overuse of an element (much like the overuse of bellyaching laughter for far too long every time something amusing happens) made me less disposed to laugh at those jokes which didn't fall flat - and there were one or two. It all felt smug rather than affectionate, and this did nothing for the overall feel of the film. Under normal circumstances silly monsters and skeletons would at least make me smile. Here, I felt they were let down by their casting agents.

Whilst pastiche can be great fun, The Lost Skeleton of Cadavra just did not live up to it. Having read some other reviews since watching the film myself, it would seem I'm in the minority with my opinions here, but I'd still definitely advise fans of wacky vintage sci-fi to stick with the real deal: those old films may have been deeply flawed, sure, but their entertainment value was at least organic. Oh, and sticking the distribution company's logo on-screen for the entirety of the film? Not necessary and not cool.

This is a B&W film (shot in colour, and given the B&W treatment in post-production). The appearance and sound were of decent quality, and there were no extras on the screener.

Review by Keri O'Shea